OT: The reason I left....

B! I agree, if you are not happy you have move on....if you are with someone and they don't know you exist or appreciate you, or nurture you, you have to go...it's a form of mental abuse...some women will stay married to someone for years or until they one die even though they are being mentally tortured. 

I make get flamed for this: but in some black communities especially in the south where I grew up, black women did not leave their husbands but for ONE REASON...and that was cheating and he had to do something that was catastrophic meaning having several outside kids in order for the women to divorce, if she was NOT happy or if her husband did not treat her well ...then she got a hobby and hung out with girlfriends to help soothe her loneliness and heartbreak...you were raised to never leave unless it was something horrible...but if he just did not make you happy that was not grounds for divorce....Much love and happiness to you, you are too beautiful and sweet to not be happy!

Nana, I think many women who lived in those communities stayed in bad marriages because they were abiding to the word of God and what the bible states are the reasons for divorce, which is infidelity and honestly, I get that BUT they are not taught what else the bible states about divorce completely or correctly.  People miss the rest.  Yes it says that God hates divorce...and then it also says...He also hates when a man covers himself in violence.  Abuse of any kind is violence and staying in a marriage where there is any kind of abuse is bondage and Jesus came to set us free from bondage. Neglect is abuse, that is bondage and I don't have to stay in a relationship/marriage where I am being abused. Love you more sweetie!!!

I am rather fond of my typical parting salvo....

No really....it's you!

But I am with Mack....good relationships exist?

Interesting concept.

No really....it's you!  !!!!  I love it!  I do think there are good relationships. I just think they are made not born.

I was just taking about this with my friend.  

Do we as women have to deal with some type of BS, drama in order to come out years later with a great relationship? 

She state yes, she has gone through other women, down talking, etc and now they are great and getting married, years later. 

I think that is BS, I refuse to go through someone else stupid drama to be with him.  I can be by myself and happy.  

Fix your drama, messy, lives before you try to get into any serious relationship, that is what I want men to do.

Agreed. I have always believed that two broken people who come together still don't make a whole person.  However, I do know that relationships do take much work, time, patience, diligence AND ATTENTION..and yes, you have to work through some crap because no matter how "together" you are, we all still have things that irratate others. But without having the commitment to put that person at the top of the list and pay attention to them, it is all for not.  It's dead in the water.  It just is.